Sometimes the difference between being happy and being miserable in a situation is dependent upon your perspective of that situation. Take today for example: it’s Saturday and I was at school working my normal hours because we’re having our yearly culture festival. Why did the school schedule the event for Saturday? I don’t know…it’s a Japanese thing…but the point is I started this morning at 7AM thinking, “Oh man, it’s Saturday! I’m supposed to be sleeping and playing video games today…not getting up, shaving, and going to school.” Thus, my initial perspective on the day was “less than happy.”
I should also tell you that recently I’ve been kind of bummed and dazed about life here. I’m still adjusting to old friends leaving and new ones arriving and while teaching has been going well, I feel drained and stretched for new ideas of what to do in the classroom. I’ve also been going through an episode of “Oh gosh, I’m single!” that just makes life exhausting…and the changing of the seasons from summer to fall makes me so homesick for Chapel Hill and long afternoons in the sun with friends.
So all of this combined in my mind this morning as I was eating toast and watching a spider the size of a cat making a web outside my kitchen. I kept thinking, “What am I doing out here in the inaka?! There’s nothing here! Even Japanese people are amazed that I live out here!”
I arrived at school with a few tired grumbles rolling around in my head and was greeted by excited students and teachers who were gearing up for an eventful day of performances and festivities. My mood began to lighten.
A little while later I was sitting in an auditorium next to one of my favorite teachers and surrounded by all the students. The energy of the room was positive and I tried to let go of my grumbles and enjoy what was to come. I had planned on sitting in the back and catching some sleep during the 3 hour assembly, but my teacher-friend had asked me to sit up front with him…and it was this invitation that started a change of heart in me. Sometimes when I’m sitting in a long Japanese-only assembly, I have the tendency to zone out and separate myself from what’s going on. This is a reaction to not knowing the language all that well and not relating to the different culture. BUT THIS IS A MISTAKE. And today I didn’t make that mistake.
Long story short, I enjoyed the assembly and even made it up on stage myself. My teacher-friend turned to me during a student choral performance and said, “These students are so precious…many young people are going to cities and leaving the inaka…but these young people are still here...and they are so pure…and they make me happy.”
And in that moment I realized he was right…and that I should be embracing my time here in the inaka. I shouldn’t be looking to other places and things to be happy when I’ve got so much RIGHT HERE in my little town. I have a good life out here and I should focus on the beautiful scenery, the simple flow of life, and the amazing people around me. I then remembered a conversation I had had with student the day before…
Super genki, super wonderful student: “Jasten, why…uh…why do you…did you come to Japan?”
Me: “Coming to Japan has always been a dream of mine…since I was a little kid.”
Super genki, super wonderful student: “Oh! So this is your dream! Your dream!”
Me: (laughing a little and smiling deep down inside) “Yeah, I guess so…I’m living my dream.”
7 comments:
Hooray for dreams! How often do people get to live their dreams let alone know what the are. I'm so proud of you....
It never ceased to amaze me why everything had to start so early in the morning. I used to ask the other teachers about that at culture festivals: "Why do Japanese people like getting up so early?" The answer was always, "We don't, someone else scheduled this." Like so many other aspects of Japan, this seems like everyone is caught on the same ride, because no one ever thought to speak up.
I respect your ability to be so open with your blog. Give me strength!
We enjoyed reading your thoughts and perspectives on living in Japan. Glad you are living your dream even though we miss you as you are so far away, but only in distance, not in our hearts. Continue to enjoy the journey!
Love always!
By the way I spent 3 years in Ajimu, so it is doable. (I know, its always about me, isn't it?) The key is, as you put it, to keep a good perspective. Focus on the beauty around you, go for a lot of walks, etc. Try and explore new areas. I really missed the small town community and the scenery when I went up to Gifu.
And with a car, Usa or Beppu isn't too far away. Now that I'm back in the states, to get across town to meet my friends can still take about 20 minutes, so I figure inaka isn't that much different with a car.
Great Post!!! Laughed until I cried. I like you're writing, it has such humanism...it would be a mistake to underestimate the power of perception. Einstien once said "immagination is more important than knowledge." Maybe he was on to something.
that was a nice post, Justin.
-Baker
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