Extreme Diagnosis

This blog entry is coming to you under fever-induced delirium so I hope the humor carries over.

Right now I’m suffering from terrible flu-like symptoms and after a day without any improvement, I decided to try to look online to see if I could figure out what might be wrong with me (I rarely get sick and even when I am I don’t let it slow me down…but this episode of illness is taking a toll).

I found an easy to use flow chart to diagnosis my symptoms and while the chart wasn’t much help, the end result was hilarious (**warning, dark humor ahead).

Observe:

1. Is the person an infant of child? NO.
2. Does your fever come and go and does your temperature stay between 97° and 102°? YES.
3. Have you had a fever for weeks along with tiredness and a sore throat? NO
4. Do you have a sore throat, a dry cough, tiredness, mild headaches or muscle aches? YES.
5. Do you have aches, chills, nausea, vomiting, cramps or watery diarrhea? YES.
6. Are you short of breath and do you have a cough that produces yellow, green or tan mucus? Not really...

Conclusion: You may have a serious infection, such as TUBERCULOSIS or AIDS.

Hmmm…perhaps a bit hasty on the emergency diagnosis…and speaks loudly of the dangers of uninformed self-diagnosis. But at least I got a big laugh out of the extreme ending.

Thieves Strike Again!

A while ago (like MONTHS ago) I posted an entry about two little girls breaking into my house and stealing a bunch of my cookies. These two culprits still come by every now and then and do things like yell at me in Japanese, kick my shins, and try their best to get into my house (I lock my door only because of them). Last week they came by to call me a liar and steal my broom.

Apparently there was some confusion about my country of origin due to an incident that occurred the other week when a visiting friend told some students he was from Mexico when we were driving by the play ground (the kids always shout “herro!” and things like “Are you from America?!” and my friend responded back, “NO, I’m Mexican!” and thus this sent the school was sent into chaos).

So the two little girls came by to call me a liar kick my shins (I wish I was joking, but this is all true). I tried to clear up the misunderstanding, but really all they were interested in was getting into my house. I repeatedly told them NO! and while trying to block their entry, one of them grabbed a broom that was near the door. She said, “thank you very much!” and started running down the street. I sighed, weighed my options, then quickly put on my shoes and ran after her.

Imagine this scene, two little girls running and screaming down a main road in town with a foreigner running after them growling. I caught up to the one holding the broom after running past her friend who screamed and jumped into a rice field. We briefly played tug-of-war while a minivan drove by with staring eyes and gasping mouths. I gain control of the broom, smacked the girl on the feet and dashed back home (I had a hot date and needed to get showered and into the city so there was no time for a lecture).

Hooray Ajimu!

Sarah's Japan Video

My friend from home who made it to visit me here, Sarah, made an awesome video. I'm honored to post it to my blog.

Sarah Wilda visits Japan!

Follow the link to view the video!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8292254095754614041

(still working on technical issues)

UPDATE?!

Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating recently. I actually have some super HOT videos just dying to be uploaded, but for some reason YouTube is playing a joke on me and everytime I try to share my vision with the masses, I get a big I DON'T THINK SO PUNY HUMAN reaction from the Robots in control of the internet.

Fear not, I'm working to overcome this problem and get the blog updated. Just hang in there!